Matzoh Ball Miracles

you know how sometimes you just feel really damn cranky? like you can’t win no matter how hard you try, like life woke up this morning and decided it was going to beat you over the head with the shit stick?

this is what you eat when you feel like that. it’s also what you eat when you’re feeling under the weather, when you’re hungover, when your nose is snotty and your sinuses are swollen (gross), and when you feel like you can’t lift your head off the pillow.

matzoh ball soup. the jewish cure. miracle in a matzoh ball. it doesn’t really matter what you call it – this stuff works magic. on the plus side, it’s really easy to make, so when you wake up with a class A hangover, the kind where your brain feels like it’s too big for your skull and there’s a pounding that just won’t stop and you feel like you just might vomit everywhere if you take another step…you can still whip this up in under an hour. 

i have no real recipe for matzoh ball soup. the stuff is just in my veins, i guess. but basically, you’re going to need a box of matzoh meal.* follow the directions on the box to make your balls (essentially, you mix the matzoh meal with eggs and oil and let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then shape the balls with your hands). in the meantime, prepare your broth. if you’re the type of guy or gal that makes homemade stock, more power to you. i’m a big fan of bouillon cubes. fast, easy, delish. so, you’ll need the chicken stock of your choice (don’t use veggie!). then slice and dice up what the french so classily call your “mirepoix”  ( chopped onions, carrots and celery). Mirepoix is the base of pretty much every great soup out there, so get familiar. 

another must have for real matzoh ball: fresh dill. slice it up as well. 

now that you’ve got it all assembled, throw your mirepoix in the pan to cook down with a little butter or oil. salt the veggies a little bit to let the liquids out. next, add your stock. then your dill. then your balls. a well-made ball with float straight to the top. let the balls hang in there for a little bit until they’re light, fluffy, and enlarged (that sounds dirty) – this can take anywhere from 20-40 mins depending on the size of your matzoh balls. 

season to your liking with salt and pepper, and serve. 

*can’t find matzoh meal? pulse a bit of matzoh in your food processor or blender. can’t find matzoh? what are you, a gentile?


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