in true emo fashion, i am starting the new year off with a death cab for cutie quote. cue the violins. i’ve always been kind of wary of resolutions, mostly because i’d make them but never keep them. for instance, every new year, i tell myself that this will be the year i floss regularly. it seems like a small, achievable goal, right? except i’ve never been able to stick to it. and my dentist hates me for it.
two years ago (i can’t believe it’s been that long), my resolution was to attempt to get in shape – to find a workout routine that i actually enjoyed and therefore, could stick to. as someone who’s the exact opposite of athletic, this seemed an insurmountable obstacle. i hate the gym. the elliptical is boring, but doable; i hate to run (thanks, mom, for the chest). i’m not really one for team sports, mostly because i fear i won’t be able to do them and i’ll bring the team down. but one dreary, cold january day two years ago, i stumbled on a gilt city deal for a ballet bar fitness class just three blocks from my office. and on a whim, i bought it.
cut to me nearly passing out at my first bar method class. see the vision of me sitting outside the studio in a well-lit and nicely padded hallway, with my head between my knees? a tall, lithe, and perfectly built teacher (who i’d later learn was one of the owners), kindly stopped in the hallway and patted me on the shoulder. “first class?” i nodded. in my head, i was back in my childhood ballet class, watching my impossibly graceful best friend do a perfect plie while i struggled to hold my head high enough to twirl on my tiptoes. “the first class is the worst. keep your head between your knees and take some deep breaths. it’ll get easier. you can do it.“
and you know what? i could. two years later, i take 5 bar method classes a week, sometimes more. i regularly take level II classes, and i don’t die. i don’t pass out. i sweat, and my muscles shake, and sometimes, i think i might die after all. but i never do. and in those two years, i’ve not only kept a new year’s resolution ( a first! ) but also found one of my favorite group of people in new york. i’ve found a place where i feel at home, where i can come burn off my stress and channel all my negative energy into something positive. i’ve found a place where i feel strong, even when i’m feeling weak in every other part of my life.
the moral of the story? new year’s resolutions aren’t just a silly tradition – they hold more gravitas than we think. the new year is a time to put what’s come before behind you. to forgive others who have wronged you, to forgive yourself for those you’ve wronged. to give yourself a fresh start, a blank slate. to try something new, even something scary. it’s worth it, i promise.
my resolution this year is twofold:
1) to write more. since i write for a living (advertising), i rarely have the energy to write creatively. but it’s something i miss. so i bought myself a writer’s workbook, with 532 writing prompts. and i want to complete at least one a week, if not more.
2) i’m also resolved to update this here blog once a week. and not just with recipes, but with writing (which should help with resolution number 1), and maybe some pretty pictures, as well as some music recommendations.
in short? if you are reading (and thank you if you are!), thanks for sticking with me, and i promise there will be more to come.