today is my last day at my current job. on tuesday, i’ll start from scratch. fresh pens in my “s” mug. fresh folders on my desk. fresh faces, a new desk, a new office, a new commute. new people, new work, new life.
work is a funny thing. you try not to let it consume you, as much as possibly can, but in reality, unless you’re working for yourself, you’re spending 8-9 hours a day with your coworkers. who soon become your friends, not just the people you sit next to in the conference room a few times a week. which makes them all the much harder to leave when you decide to pursue a new opportunity.
i’ve spent the last year and a half LOVING the people i work with. sure, there have been some exceptions, as there always are, but for the most part, i’ve been thrilled to come into work each day. which is why when i was offered a new opportunity, i almost didn’t take it. because when you’re happy, and comfortable, your mind tells you not to leave. comfort is easy, simple, like putting on your favorite sweatshirt, the one that smells like home.
but what’s easy isn’t always what’s right. which is why when i was offered a new job two weeks ago, i decided to take the plunge. and i am terrified. because change scares the shit out of me, and always has. but that’s part of why i did it. because deep down i know that i need to do more of what scares me. one of my resolutions for this year was to embrace my fears, and stop holding myself back from trying new things simply because i was afraid of them. and while i know that there’s a chance that i’ve made a big mistake leaving this happy, comfortable place, i also know that there’s a chance that i’ve made the right decision, for me, for now.
i was talking through this the other day with my uber intuitive, smarty pants of a friend, liana, and you know what she said, in response to all my, ohmygodwhatifimadeamistake ranting? change is brave.
let me say it again, for good measure.
and i thought to myself, oh my god, she’s right. what i am doing, this leap of faith, this not knowing if i did the right thing, is brave. it’s brave because it’s scary, and because i can’t know if it’s right or wrong until i’ve done it.
my goal for this weekend, and for tuesday, when i walk into a new office with new people, and no friends, and no nothing, is to remember that i am brave. that i can do this. and that the very worst thing that could happen would be to realize i’ve made a mistake.
and really, that’s not the worst thing.
so here’s to being brave. to changing because we can, not just because we have to. to taking a leap of faith when it’s our only mode of transportation, and to knowing that everything will be okay.